Family Time Is The New Busy
Source: John-Mark Smith on Unsplash.
Three things struck me as important this week.
The first was an article entitled Rest Resistant: Australians Are Addicted To Being Busy published by The Sydney Morning Herald. The article discussed how, on average, Australians are perhaps one of the most hardworking, taking pride in how busy we are as a badge of honour. The verdict of this was that it is turning us into a tired and ‘over-adrenalised’ nation.
The second was a meme posted to both Instagram and Facebook, which I re-shared on Home & Family’s own Instagram page last Saturday. It covered everything mums feel they are compelled to do in order to be seen as bringing their child up ‘correctly’ in 2019.
The third thing that struck me in the space of just a few days was another article by SMH, talking about the stress parents feel today to help their child succeed academically and the lengths they’ll go to achieve this. The article called this ‘snowplough’ or ‘concierge’ parenting – describing the mums and dads who will do absolutely anything to ensure their child has a smooth run through life.
Are you cut out to be a mum in 2019?
Source: Unknown.
From these three things gracing the media this week, I can deduce some common themes.
One, we are too busy doing things that may not be necessary for a good quality of life – and it is making us too stressed. Plus two, with all this going on, parents are feeling the pressure to keep up with the Joneses in making sure their child is seen as ‘successful’. Phew! That’s a lot to deal with. No wonder why that meme exists! In today’s hyper-connected world, parents have access to myriad resources and all of it is telling them what they are NOT doing right.
With all of this creating a perfect pressure cooker of anxiety-ridden parents and kids alike, so many people are now going back to basics and embracing the simple things to keep daily life in perspective – parents are now bringing back dedicated family time.
While sitting around a dining table and talking about the day is often seen as an outdated concept, so many parents are now seeing the benefit of embracing these old-school concepts again as they are observing how children respond better to this than tactics such as snowplough parenting.
For one, dedicated family time helps to alleviate the guilt parents often feel when they sit down at the end of the day and realise they made no lasting memories with their child.
It’s also suggested that family time helps solidify relationships and secures attachments, it helps build resilience in kids, and research has even gone as far as to say that family time creates better functioning children with stronger immune systems, more contentment, good overall wellbeing and it fosters higher academic results.
And what’s more, family time helps us focus on the more simpler and essential things, rather than complicating life with trying to keep up with those pesky Joneses. Time spent as a family celebrates family diversity, it will always give you a return on your investment and it focuses on the more positive aspects of parenting – plus gives parents time out from that stressful to-do list.
Equipped with this knowledge, I decided to take this idea to the streets and ask some of our readers, not what parenting looks like for them, but what family time looks like in 2019. And while you don’t have to do everything on this diverse list, it does offer some positive ideas on what we can all do to switch off, unwind, put down the snowplough and grow as individuals.
Source: Annie Spratt on Unsplash.
Stelle, from NSW, says that one thing she likes to do is make non-caffeinated tea or hot chocolate with kids. She says, after watching the adults drinking coffee after a nice meal, the child in her care wanted to join in and so tea-making became a ritual for them to spend time together.
“Something Serenity found special is that when all the adults were having tea or coffee, I began to make dandelion coffee just for her or sometimes have some myself as a non-caffeinated option,” Stelle reveals. “It has the side benefit of teaching them your hot drink preferences as something they can do for you to be nice later on.”
David, from Sydney, reveals sometimes it can be hard to carve out family time, but says his family purposefully plan time together to combat this: “We like to all do a movie night together once a month. We also play card games and board games. It is tough though with two teenagers with so many commitments.”
Source: Hannah Tasker on Unsplash.
Another David, who hails from western Sydney, epitomises the exact sentiment of family time, saying: “For me it is the park, but I will add in cooking together. They are so inquisitive in the kitchen and proud to have accomplished something by themselves. Also washing dad’s car in summer and going crazy with the hose, sprinkler and outside toys. It's the basic things that seem to become the most memorable for parents and our children alike.”
Danielle from Sydney’s north likes to kick it old style, explaining: “For us it is as simple as eating dinner as a family every night at the dining table with no distractions and talking about our day’s activities. Once a week we try to do a movie night at home and we also try and hit a park.”
Adam, from Sydney’s upper north shore, profoundly adds: “Family time is the time when there are no bounds nor cares in what you do together. Where you genuinely value the moments shared with the ones you love, with no sense of obligation. The moments where you are not just a group of individuals sharing an experience, but instead a singular unit. No matter how many you number – whether it be 2 or 20 – you are one.”
While Cath, from the same area, mentions: “It’s doing things together, whether a project, an adventure or even sharing jobs. No tech and no distractions from the outside. We do Saturday night movie nights too.”
Finally, Kathryn in Sydney’s north says, for her family, a big part of their ritual time together involves their faith and a love of literature. “We have dinner together, and after dinner we sit down together for their reading. On weekends, we all go to church together on Saturday.”
So, this coming long weekend is the perfect time to start embracing family time of your own – we promise you won’t regret it!
What do your family rituals look like? Tell us about some family activities you did this weekend and let’s embrace parenting diversity.
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